Chapter II: The Morning Always Comes….

“Bianca I… love you…” I thought to myself. A line I had recited to myself countless times since our first encounter. Standing in the shower I gazed into Bianca’s cinnamon brown eyes. This had become a routine for us; six months now Bianca and I have been seeing one another in secret. Why you ask? Because Bianca was still with her fiancé. Turns out they did break up but soon after our night of passion, Bianca and Walter had come to a mutual understand and “worked things out”.

Bianca had confessed to me that she didn’t expect us to last this long and that Walter was the first man to ever propose to her and she still loved him. Tch… how could I fight that, I mean they had history but I couldn’t let her go that easy.

After we finished in the shower and dried off, I covered Bianca in a towel and carrying her into the bedroom. Gently I laid Bianca across the bed, taking my time unwrapping her with such delicately, seeding kisses down her beautiful mocha ebony frame.

Taking a bottle of warming cocoa oil, I slowly started massaging Bianca’s body, paying extra attention to her sensitive spots. Once I was done Bianca, slipped on her bra and panties. I held her by the waist pulling her close to me, as my hands roamed up and down her back I smiled to hide my true feelings; instead I let Nelly speak for me as Dilemma played in the background. Bianca grinned casing her arms around my neck, she stood on her tippy toes to kiss me before pulling away to finish getting dressed. The minute Bianca had her black stylish blouse tunic and blue apple bottom jeans on, Usher’s Nice and Slow came on. I held her close from behind while staring out the window, looking out into the Georgia blue sky.

After I placed a kiss on her neck, Bianca turned to me with that beautiful smile that I’ve come to enjoy so much. It was obvious that Bianca was searching for something deep into my eyes, to be honest so was I.

“I love you Amir,” Bianca said caressing the side of my face. Was this it? Is this what I was searching for, to feel Bianca’s love outside of physical pleasure?

“Bianca…” my hands moved gradually up Bianca’s neck cupping her head into my hands,

“Do you love me enough to leave him?” Pulling me down for another kiss, then gazing deep into my eyes for reinsurance Bianca answered,

“Yes…” Bianca smiled. I held her tight excited from her response, my body was completely warm from joy. We kissed long and hard, it felt never ending, but sadly like all things reality hit and it did, Bianca flash me another one of her crooked smiles then headed out the front door.

All day during class and work all I could do was think of Bianca. Months now I wanted her away from that asshole, Bianca wasted her love on Walter for so long it was a damn shame.

Walter J. Miles, a man that made it a habit of making Bianca cry. She knew of his countless affairs with other women but stuck it out with him still, and for the life of me I couldn’t understand why. Was it his looks? Walter was a handsome devil, women all over fall for his young Terrence Howard image, you know the one from “The Best Man”. Maybe it was the fact he was a shinning prominent up and coming lawyer, or perhaps it was the secret meetings we’ve been having, some kind poetic justice feel. Whatever it might have been, had Bianca hooked, but I guess all that didn’t matter now that she was leaving him to be with me and that’s all that counts. No longer will I have to see her cry or hurt anymore from this man’s dirt.

A few days later after our last meet, I received a text from Bianca.

“Hey can I come stay with u 2nite? Walter is out with another 1 {:P-Lovin-mi-lil-secret -q:} ”

“Sure,” I replied, though it’s no surprise that Walter would be out leaving her alone.

“Great we can do sum cooking 2gether. {:P-Lovin-mi-lil-secret -q:}”

“Sounds great too me ;)”

“Good {:P-Lovin-mi-lil-secret -q:}”

Later that evening I had everything set up for my Baby. I awaited her with much anticipation thinking that now she was all mines, knowing that she no longer was with that fucker.

It was a little after six p.m. when my doorbell rang. No matter how many times I answered the door knowing it was Bianca on the other side my heart still pounded through my chest. When I answer the door my heart felt like it was going to explode from excitement. Bianca was gorgeous even though it was casual, she looked so damn stunning, a black and pink hoodie with a tank top underneath, tight blue jean that hugged her full moon of an ass, and to pull it all together she wore black wrap platform heels. I couldn’t restrain myself I took Bianca by the hands and pulled her in for a slow sensual kiss. Something… something was wrong… I could taste it on her lips, I guided Bianca in, for some reason she couldn’t look me in the eyes.

“So I didn’t have any real idea on what we could make together,” I followed Bianca into the kitchen.

“Bianca…”

“I didn’t know what you had already— oh you have some vegetables I guess we could make a salad.” Bianca reached into the fridge grabbing the iceberg lettuce.

“Bianca did you-”

“I’m sorry Amir I’m over jumping the guns, what did you have in mind for a main dish?” I didn’t… I couldn’t respond, I just stared at Bianca with her back turned to me. There was something heavy attached to her shoulders,

“Bianca,”

“Yes…”

“Did you?”

“Amir-”

“DID… you?”

“No…” There was a moment of silence, it felt like a memorial service was being held, I guess in away there was one. The swirling storm of emotion that raged inside of me sent rumbles throughout my body.

“Amir… Baby?” Bianca cried out turned around to me disappearing into the other room. I didn’t answer back, fuck it why should I? “Don’t go back in there” I told myself. I headed into the bedroom slamming the door behind me; I couldn’t bare to see her right now, after all I’ve done for Bianca she still wanted to be with Him, seriously what the fuck?

All I could do was replay the last six months I had with her, what was I doing sleeping with another man’s woman? Clearly I’m just a fucking jump to her, Walter is the main nigga and I’m just the side thang. I had a bottle of Francois de Rozay chilling in a bucket of ice near the bed in celebration of when she broke it off with Walt and sanctioned our union, that’s a dead cause now… still why let it go to waste I said chugging straight from the bottle. After downing the vintage bottle, my thirst still unsatisfied, a gaping hole was in my chest and it had to be filled. Reaching down into the mini fridge and grabbed a bottle of Everclear taking it directly to the head.

I couldn’t stand it not having Bianca all to myself; even now if she didn’t leave Bianca was in my crib while that nigga is up in another female. Is that what Bianca wanted for the rest of her life? A cheating man, shit seriously what is with women huh? When you have a half way decent brotha somehow you still fall for Mr. Wrong. I hear it all the time; hell I see it all the time! Women complain that all men are no good and how they’re ready to give up on the male race. Wrong! The raggedy nigga’s you fucking choose are no good! Don’t keep lumping all of us in your poor choices when it comes to picking dick.

As I gulp down the spirit of burning water, projections of Bianca and Walt making love began to play on my wall, seeing them in such an intimate way enraged me! It pissed me off so much that slung the bottle smashing it against the wall. That did nothing but distorted the images in the alcohol, the rage boiling in me was unsettled quickly I got up stumbling over with every ounce of my hatred I rammed my fist into the wall. Fluid dripped down to the carpet, a bloody dent was all that was left if the aftermath, I did more damaged to myself than the wall, but Damn how I wanted it to be Walter. “Calm down…” I told myself relaxing back on the bed. Reaching back into the fridge I pulled out a flask.

After hours if agonizing over the hurt and betrayal, I tried to pull myself together. “Clean it up…” staggering back to my feet I managed to clean up the glass. My hand was mangled up a little bit from punching the wall but I could care less of the pain, nothing hurt worse than my heart right now. I was able to pick up just about every piece of glass off the floor tossing it all into the bathroom trash can.

After spending what seems like hours in my room hunger started to set in, I figured Bianca had left already, besides I had left my cell phone in the living room maybe she texted me, then again maybe not, who cares. Carrying the flask of whiskey I exited the room and entered into the living room where Bianca was sleeping curled up on the sofa with one of my shirts I had left lying around. From the dampened spots on the shirt I could tell she had been crying, I wonder why? What reason could she have to cry for, better question why in the hell was she still here? After hearing all that noise from the bedroom I thought she might have been frighten off by now. Bianca slowly woke from her sleep to see me towering over her; I guess she could feel my eyes scanning over her.

“Get up,” I said walking away tossing the flask back again. Minutes later Bianca came into my bedroom, shirtless as I sat in a recliner across from the bed. If she wanted a boy toy than I’m going to treat her accordingly.

“Take’em off,” I ordered.

“Amir, please… Baby you just don’t understand…”

I shrugged at her excuses, never have I been so cold towards Bianca but my heart was an arctic tundra right now,

“Two choices,” I said finishing the rest of the brown creature.

“Do as I say or you can see your way out.” Bianca glared at me with a scolding gaze, but I could care less mirroring the stare back. Bianca unzipped the hoodie yanking it off throwing it at me, she bent down not once taking her eyes off me, to take off her heels.
As Bianca stood there before me I become aware of something… I could see what she’s truly been caring this whole time, “Are you happy? Well are you?” my conscience taunted me. “You’re no different from him playboy.” No… no I’m nothing like Him, I love Bianca I would never hurt her. “Oh yea? Are you sure about that? Look at her… look deep into her eyes… look at the marks on her body.” I didn’t know! “But did you ever think to take the time to ask or consider the risks she could be taking for you?” Stop it you don’t understand, “That’s exactly what she said but you just blew her off.” Why didn’t she just tell me? “Maybe she wanted to, or simply she was without words.” The coldness in my heart vanished instead I was left with a sick disgusted feeling in my stomach. I got up to hold Bianca,

“Sit!” She commanded with a small tremble in her voice.

“You wanted a whore then I’ma give her to ya.” I wanted to stop her but I knew this was my doing, I brought all this on. After removing her jeans Bianca stepped up on the recliner, straddling me. Lifting her wife beater over and tossing it, Bianca stroked her hands down her beautiful stomach down into her panties fingering herself.

“You wanna fuck this pretty little pussy?” she said rubbing her moist soaked fingers across my lips. I grabbed Bianca’s hand placing it on my chest,

“I’m sorry Baby, you’re more to me than that.”

“Yea right…” It was obvious that her heart was completely broken, she was just as sickened as I was, and she probably sees me no different than Walter.

“Bianca I’m sorry,” I sat up holding her tight kissing her bruised shoulders and aching neck. I caressed her hips and waist, she was so frail that she jerked from every slight touch.

“That fucker… I’m gonna kill him.” Anger bubbled inside me like a cauldron, as I held my baby close.

“Then who’ll soothe me?” Bianca’s tears streamed down my shoulders. I stood up holding Bianca in my arms, gently I laid her across the bed placing kisses on each tender bruise. It pained me so much to see my Bianca like this,

“I don’t ever want to hurt you Bianca, never again.”

“I believe you Amir and only you.” Bianca said pulling me on top of her. We stared into each other eyes, Bianca could feel my enraged dick swelling from inside my jeans.

“I need you, I need your love right now.” I hesitated no sliding off my jeans and under armor, she wiggled off her panties. I paid homage to this abused ebony goddess’ body with soft kisses starting with her toes working my way up her legs, to the inside of her thighs. My lips traveled deeper north until I was French kissing her sacred lips. As I tongued her down I used my thumb to circle around her ass enhancing the pleasure, Bianca tasted so divine. I cringed from the pleasure, her legs wrapping around my head, I worked my tongue on Bianca’s sweet spot over and over until she creamed with sweetness.

“I wanna feel you in me.” She whispered. I gave into my Baby’s wants; kissing her I sat Bianca up having her straddle me, wrapping her sexy caramel legs around my waist. I eased her on down my swollen man hood, Donell Jones Do you wanna played in my head. It was the perfect rhythm for me to make love to. Each stroke was slow and deep, I wanted her to feel every part of me, and tonight I wanted to show my Baby how much I adore her. I wanted to ride her into ecstasy, my hands sliding up and down her spine. I wanted to lose control but not yet, no not just yet, Bianca needed more sensual healing to erase the pain that he had inflicted on her. My only desire was to ease Bianca’s body inch by long thick hard inch; touch by heated touch, and kiss by silky kiss. As passionately as I could, I revved deeper and deeper into my Baby, she rolled me over mounting me; Bianca saddled herself on top of me galloping on like a thoroughbred. Bianca rode me until she reached that first climax, she sat lax and motionless on top of me.

“More… I want more,” she cooed into my ear. I eased Bianca down on her side snuggling up from behind; positioning myself to enter her from the rear giving the pleasure my Bianca needed. While kissing her on her marked neck and caressing down her battered sides, I gave Bianca every inch of my love with delicate care to her body. That night we gave each other all of our love until we came to a blissful sleep in one another’s arms, just before closing our eyes Bianca confessed to me that the only time she felt safe was right here, in my arms.

When the morning came I awoke with my arms unoccupied.

“Bianca?” I called out. No reply, just a still quietness. “She’s gone you know,” I got up searching throughout the apartment calling out Bianca’s name. “Turn around… Turn around… go back into the bedroom and check the nightstand.” Usher Without You began to play on the radio as I reentered back into my bedroom. Right on the nightstand was a letter with my name written in Bianca’s hand writing. “She’s gone you know,” No Bianca couldn’t have went back to him, she just couldn’t have, this letter is probably to let me know she went to the store or something. Shaken I unfolded the letter taking a seat on the side of the bed,

Amir,

Last night you healed me in more ways than you could ever imagine, thank you, thank you so much. You taught me that I’m not strong enough yet on my own, Walt is tied to me in a way you may never know and until I can deal with a way to break the ties I can’t continue to hurt you like I did last night… So I gotta say goodbye. I can’t handle causing you so much pain I know I’ve unknowingly caused you these past few months.

Amir you are the only ray of light that God has blessed me with in my time of darkness and I don’t wanna corrupt that light. Thank you for sharing your life and love with me, the memories that we shared will stay with me in my heart forever. You and you alone have unfailing showed me what it means for a man to truly care for and cherish a woman.

I love you Amir, please understand that this isn’t forever, I know our paths will meet again. Remember the Morning always comes from the night.

This was Bianca’s true feelings; it wasn’t easy for her to write this from the evidence of dried tears that covered the letter here and there. She truly was gone, Bianca had walked out my life entirely and the only thing I had left of her was the lingering smell of her in my sheets and this letter. I broke down dropping the letter, sinking my face into my hands trying to fight back the tears. Does the morning truly always come?

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